


Goodnight

by angelofthetrench



Category: Alice Mare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:12:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5877244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofthetrench/pseuds/angelofthetrench
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after the "Goodnight" ending.<br/>A letter from Cliff to Teacher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> This was the second fic I ever wrote, and I was always terribly proud of it. It was on tumblr for the longest time, but since I'm kinda leaving that account I decided to post it here.  
> Enjoy!

David,

 

I think you will be glad to know that all the children are doing well. Our brood has grown, and everyone is getting along. Some people from the hospital agreed to move in with us, they’re helping to take care of the kids’ physical and psychological needs, and all of us have cut our hours in half to keep this place running. Allen and I are continuing the research on the Nightmare Syndrome, I told him he doesn’t have to help, but he insists. Despite this, though, he seems happier than ever, and is coping with his memories and moving on. Everyone is moving on, it seems.

 

Everyone but me.

 

I feel, in some twisted way, that I’ve turned into you. Obsessing over the past, unable to let it go, letting it affect my present, becoming almost unwilling, unable, to properly take care of myself, because I am so obsessed with this illness.  


 

Because it stole you away from me.

 

I remember when we first met, when you transferred to my school. You were pouting in the corner, your dark eyes hidden under your unruly hair, and I knew then and there we would be best friends, even if I had to drag you kicking and screaming into it. You were so cold and distant at first, there was a hatred and a hurt deep in your soul, but as time passed on it melted into a never ending sorrow that I wanted to chase away, but never could. We moved in together, we went to the same college, and over the years you let me in as much as your condition would allow. You told me about your past, about her, about the pain you bore and the guilt that consumed you, and the fear that someday the dream would be back, and that it would hurt another child.

 

That wasn’t all of you, though– that dream. That incident was not your entire being, though you tried to make it so.

 

You were scatterbrained, messy, you had this dreamy quality about you, eyes always half-lidded, mouth always slightly open. You were warm, kind, selfless beyond belief, even though you never believed it yourself. You needed to be taken care of, you needed to be pushed, and I was more than happy to be that person. Some of my happiest memories are of me cutting your hair, cleaning up after you when you fell asleep at your desk, silently going to your side to comfort you when you cried out in your dreams. Even when you yelled at me, after I got your book published, I was still happy, because you would have an income this way. It seemed you had no desire for a proper a career, you were to wrapped up in your studies, in your research, and with your talent for the written word, I knew that just this one book would give you a steady income. So, that way, when the day came that I would be forced to leave you, I knew you would be ok on your own, without me there to hold you, to take care of you.

 

I had a few more blissful years with you as we crossed the ocean, and I continued to attend school to get my doctorate, and you sunk deeper and deeper into your research, into your past, into your self pity. I begged you to come out of it, to move on with me, but you would never accept that you knew what love was, you insisted no one loved you, and so you did not know how to give it. It seemed you grew colder, more distant, you shut me out as your frustrations grew.

 

That was when I started to hate you.

 

I wanted to scream, to push you, to hurt you, because you had hurt me. _I_ loved you. I always had, for all those years, but you refused to accept it. Because of something out of your control, because of something that had happened long ago that had broken you. So I left, and I moved on, and you bought a mansion, and found those kids, and took them in. I would come visit you, I would help around the house in small ways and visit with you in the garden, watching as the children played, and before I left I always wanted to embrace you, to kiss you, to whisper how much I missed you, how much I needed you, how much I wanted our life back. How much I missed cutting your hair for you, how much I missed staying up till dawn, just talking, how much I missed being there for you. But our relationship was broken now, it was not the same, you didn’t need me anymore, and I would force myself to let it go in those moments, to walk away, because I was trying to move on with my life, and you…you were incapable of love.

 

But that was a lie. Deep down I knew you loved, I knew you felt it, I knew you had it in your heart. You loved Fiona, you loved those kids, and I know you loved me. It just took me too long to allow myself to realize it, because I was just as frightened by the concept as you were. It is so easy to love, but it is nearly impossible to accept it in return, or to allow yourself to think that someone out there truly cares for you the way you care for them.

 

You hated your name, but it was a truth, because you were more loved than you could have ever imagined. By me, and by everyone that ever had the honor of knowing you. Even if you were too scared to see it. I loved you, with all my heart. I just wish you would have accepted that, and that I had been able to accept you.

 

You often said I was your only friend, but you, you were the world to me.

 

And I miss you so much it makes me sick.

 

Wherever you are, just know that I will never forget you. I will continue your work in hopes that, one day, I can save you from your fate. I will never let the dream harm another person. Please, rest easy, please know that the pain you carried is no longer yours. It is now my burden to bear.

 

Goodnight, David. I hope, for once, your dreams are sweet.

 

Your friend,

Cliff.


End file.
